Wednesday, May 16, 2012

The Essentials, Part 1

We here at the multi-purpose solution hate lists. Making a list of the "best" of anything is the most facile way of imagining the universe--structured, hierarchical, orderly, sensical. But fuck it, we're gonna make some lists anyway.

In this case, we're making lists of the records each member of the group things is essential. One surprise: Some band members, such as Jim Teacher, listen to some real crap, and it will probably turn you off to the mps as a band if you learn this information. But as with Judgment Day, the truth must out, so here you go.


1. Iggy & The Stooges, "Raw Power" -- This one was a toss up between this record and "Fun House." I settled on "Raw Power" because of the sheer insaneness of some of the beats. I habitually listened to these albums during my senior year of high school, and, since I am a regressive fuck, this occupies my number one spot.

2. The Stones, "Exile" -- A great album to listen to while drinking and dancing with the pretty girls. Sounds like a bunch of abusers making blues-like music in a basement, which is pretty much what it is. Never gets old.

3. Hellacopters, "By the Grace of God" -- What the fuck? Why is this so high up? Because it's awesome, that's why. Shredding riffs, weird musings about God and drunkeness.

4. Urge Overkill, "Exit the Dragon" -- Again, a battle between this and "Saturation." I don't know why I can't shake this group, as some of their songs sound lazy, as if they couldn't be bothered to finish them. Opted for "Enter the Dragon" because of the dope song "And You'll Say."

5. Hot Snakes, "Suicide Invoice" -- Like cutting through shit. Utter destruction.

6. RFTC, "RFTC" -- This one's in just because of the monkey-beast on the cover.

7. Pixies, "Doolittle" -- I sometimes wonder if this band deliberately tried to make this album so awesome, or it just happened that way. I prefer to think the latter, because it's more magical.

8. Beastie Boys, "Check Your Head" -- Yeah, I listen to this shit way too much. Still have the cassette tape. "Stand Together" is some shit.

9. Alice Cooper, "Billion Dollar Babies" -- Oh Alice. This album smells like high-school vengeance.

10. Ramones, "Rocket to Russia" -- Another one of those things I included because I was obsessed with it in high school. Drama. "I Don't Care."

11. The Slackers, "The Question" -- If you can't get the awesomeness of The Slackers because "They're a ska band" (barely), you've missed out on life. This record, and "Redlight," contain some glorious songs. Ruggiero and Co. know what the fuck is up. Check "Knowing."

12. Bruce, "Born to Run" -- It's illegal to not love this album and live in Jersey.

13. Blur, "Parklife" -- I'm a sucker for some of this Brit pop shit. Again, a demonstration of how my infantile mind has never really emerged from the '90s.

14. The Clash, "London Calling" -- When I first heard this, I thought it kind of blew. But then I listened a second time, and, Oh Snap! "Jimmy Jazz," fuck you!

15. Tom Waits, "Small Change" -- One of those records that makes me feel deranged. Makes me think of Flannery's on 14th Street and Elmer T. Lee and elegant melancholy. Ugh. Did I just write elegant melancholy? See what I mean.

16. Belle & Sebastian, "Boy with the Arab Strap" -- Another example of my sad, strange love for Britpop. I blame my girl. Still, "Dirty Dream Number Two."

17. T Rex, "The Slider" -- This don't count as Britpop, right? Holy shitmother!

And that's it. Listen to these records ad infinitum (and throw in the Ghostbusters soundtrack for good measure) and you are bound to turn out a Jim Teacher.

Up Next: The rest of them

Posted by Jim Teacher

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